Being Present in my Body

As a larger woman, or perhaps as a woman, or perhaps as a human in today's world, it is easy to disengage with one's body.  There are so many messages about what a body supposed to be or look like, that one has two choices: spend a lot of time feeling disappointed or guilty for not reaching those goals, or disengage from one's body.

The water has so many tactile sensations, buoyancy, flow, cold, salty taste (or chlorine), particulate (hopefully not in the pool). I can feel my leg hair, the tightness of my goggles, the movement of my muscles. I hear each breath. The splash of the water.

This past weekend I listened to see if breast stroke sounds different from crawl.  The breathing and bubbles do. It is harder to tell about the sound of the water, as when one puts their head under, the sound changes.

When I get out of the water, I am present in my body. The messages about what it is supposed to look like are irrelevant.  What matters is what it feels like and what it can do.  I have an amazing body.