Fear of Breaking Waves

I've been swimming since I was little. But as a little one, my ocean swimming was off the coast of North Carolina, where I grew up.  I remember many a summer at the beach, playing in the water, and getting swept off my feet by breaking waves. The feel of tumbling in the ocean, unsure which way was up or down, with salt and sand in my eyes and nose taught me to fear the breakers.  That fear has stayed with me as an adult.

Luckily, where I swim now is usually protected and fairly calm.  Usually. Until it isn't. Like the day I'm writing about today, where there was a strong north wind. And a high tide.  And that led to three foot waves at Alki.  And Breakers. It was a day like this:

But this story isn't really about breakers. It is about friendship.  There is a guy I swim with named Jerome who is the "dad" of the swim club. The unofficial greeter, babysitter, lifeguard, bouncer, security agent, and cheerleader, among other things. He is an accomplished swimmer in his own right, having done an ice mile and the swim from Bremerton to Alki (a 10 miler). 

Jerome knows I'm afraid of breakers. And on the day in question, he said he'd get into the water with me, talk me through it, and help me get to the other side of the breakers, where I could play in the waves, or swim.

So I waded into the water. And immediately felt the force of the waves and the cold spray on my chest. I backed off, out of the water.  Jerome called to me. "Come on in, Rebecca, you can do it". And I inched deeper back into the water. I felt like I would drown. I felt like I would cry. I felt panic set in. I backed off again. And started in on the self talk, bargaining if I made it past the breakers for 30 seconds, I could consider it a "swim" for the day.  "Reebs," I said, "you can do this. Just do it." It didn't totally work. I turned toward Jerome for help.

Jerome is a large man. Both tall and broad shouldered. So he stood in the waves, literally letting them break over him before they hit me, and slowly walked me into the ocean. On the third try I was able to do it. I still felt the force of the ocean. I still had the cold spray hitting my chest and face. I still had the fear. But I also had the friendship, and someone rooting for me.

Triumphantly, I made it past the line of breakers and into the churning ocean. I swam for 30 seconds.

A true friend will try to hold the ocean back for you.